10 Valentine's Day Gifts on Amazon that Won't Break the Bank
I used to hate buying jewelry because it's so expensive, but then I realized that it wasn't jewelry that I hated, it was that guy Byron who runs the store at the mall. Here, think your girl might want a pretty heart-shaped whatever to wear once and then forget about? Ten bucks. (Buy it here - $14.99)
* Ferrero Rocher, Flat 48 Count
Listen, Valentine's Day is about one thing: Chocolate (...Oh, and love, I guess.) For some reason, the only chocolate options at the store this time of year are the $5 Russell Stover junk, or the $80 giant heart filled with diabetes. Get these. They're elegant, relatively cheap, and they actually taste good. (Buy it here - $16.44)
* Burt's Bees Set
Apparently, many women have skin that's dryer than a desert iguana's, because they're always buying more and more lotion. Either that, or my wife is building a secret stockpile in anticipation of a global shortage of lemon butter cuticle cream.
My point is, if you're at a loss of what to get a girl as a gift, get this. It's thirteen bucks, and, with a bow added, could look vaguely like a Valentine's Day gift. (Buy it here - $11.99)
* Satin Robe
Do you have any idea what the mall considers a fair price for a robe these days? Eighty bucks! For a loose-fitting shawl with a belt! Only crazy people and desperate guys shopping on February 13th would pay those prices. You, though... You're smarter than that. I can tell. (Buy it here - $29.99)
* Fuzzy Socks (3 Pairs)
You can never have enough fuzzy socks. OK, that's not true; three pairs of fuzzy socks is probably plenty. Fortunately for you, that's exactly how many are in this bundle, and the 470 weirdos who write reviews of socks on Amazon seem to like them a lot. (Buy it here - $14.99)
In honor of the Avon Haiku perfume, I have written this endorsement haiku:
On Valentine's Day
For sure, nothing classier
Than smelly water
* Ceramic Candle Warmer
For some reason, it's gotten into our collective subconscious that we should gift candles. Yeah sure, they smell great, but after you light them once, candles look all lopsided and weird. This bad boy always looks the same (that is, "nice") and melts fragrant wax better than a wick. You'll never have to step inside a Yankee Candle store ever again, and that alone is worth sixteen dollars. (Buy it here - $17.06)
* Oh, the Places You'll Go (Hardcover)
I know that Dr. Seuss's Oh, The Places You'll Go is generally viewed as a graduation gift, but stay with me, here. At the heart of this book is a simple message: "Don't give up, because I believe in you," and personally, I don't think there's anything more romantic than hearing that from your boyfriend or girlfriend. To be safe, maybe buy some chocolates, too, but seriously at $10 this one's a winner. Trust me. (Buy it here - $10)
* Gift Tower full of Snacks and Sweets
If you have the kind of girl who likes getting lots of little things, this gift tower's got you covered. Why is it lime-colored? Because getting things in red boxes this time of year comes with a 50% markup. Throw a bow on it if it bothers you so much. We're just thinking about your bottom line, here. (Buy it here - $27.45)
Personally, I prefer to give a practical gift. That's why for every holiday I give my wife nothing but multi-packs of AAA batteries and paper towels. I understand, though, that some people might want their gift to have a bit more pizzazz. So, here's a nice little watch for under $10. Everybody wins. (Buy it here - $9.48)
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